some funny jokes

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't
seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out
his cell phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The
operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help.
First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is
heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"


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TEXAN: "Where are you from?"

HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."

TEXAN: "OK - where are you from, jackass?"


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When
NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that
ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem,
NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that
writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface
including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300
degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.

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Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe.



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COURTSEY http://funny2.com/funniest.htm